[links] a Manifesto against Self-Sabotage by Sara Rosso

We all experienced a moment when we got stuck by a choice / decision / situation.

As this is the case for me I started to browse the web looking for inspiration.

sararosso-2
Sara Rosso bio can be found here

 

 

I found this amazing article on Sara Rosso’s blog, called: Stop Sabotaging Your Own Success: A Manifesto.

 

 

 

 

I found it so appropriate and so powerful that I wanted to share it here – as a reminder for myself and for you – dear reader – in case you feel you are self sabotaging yourself.

Most of this post is written in “you” form, but it’s a self-reflective post.
I’m basically talking to myself while taking notes.

Let me tell you about a few points of the Manifesto that hit me like an expired Toblerone bar in the teeth:

The risks I take are reinforced by a belief that I owe it to myself to at least try.

This is the foundation, the belief that supports all the rest.
You owe it to yourself to try!

Owe is such a powerful verb here and almost makes you look at yourself from the outside – allowing to direct thoughts and words that we use all the time with friends, but usually are too shy to use for ourselves.

Here some ready-to-go examples to try right flipping now:

  • “I deserve to eat without rushing”
  • “I deserve to find time to go walking everyday”
  • “I deserve to feel my emotions” (that’s a powerful one)

Sara also is very clear about her skill set:

I’ve always seen myself as a bit of a Jack of all trades, rather than an expert in one subject, but I’ve come to believe that’s a blessing rather than a curse.

She is, in Emilie Wapnick‘s words, a multipotentialite (watch this TED talk!!).
And having that awareness helps her understand her need to try and learn.

Next, there is another pearl of wisdom disguised as an punch in the face:

The reality is, in most cases no one will be there to give you permission to act.

Read this again. This is a very, very powerful truth.
Can you feel how that truth sinks into your mind? Let’s read it again.

The reality is, in most cases no one will be there to give you permission to act.

This is very, very true for people (like me) who grew up in very  rigorous families with strict rules and very little autonomy. We tend to get used to “ask for permission” in an explicit or implicit way.
While this is a whole different topic, it’s important to understand where we come from to make peace with it and move forward.

And slowly those lost and unprepared times might become the minority rather than the majority, and soon you are looking at the Past You from a vantage point you didn’t know existed before you decided to try.

This is powerful exercise because it triggers an inversion of perspective.

Rather than just thinking of your choice moving forwards (meaning from the position you are in now, onwards) try to think about it backwards, from a future vantage point (cool job, relationship, anything) and imagine to look back and give yourself a reality check and a suggestion.

What suggestion would that be?

This last question may seem a typical “motivational vodoo” stuff but try with me now:

  • Stop for a moment and think of something you were afraid of in the past…
    (I’m sure you can find something)

For me it was moving abroad without a job. It was freaking scary and I had very little money to survive.

  • Look at that situation from your current one

5 years later. I did find a job and I do make enough money for a living.

  • Now I can look back and say: “You did take action – despite all your fears!

Wow.

These are just some of my thoughts about the wonderful Manifesto Sara wrote (for which I’m so so grateful) and if you  -dear reader – know some other exercise / article / anything that helped you in overcoming fear please let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear it!

On the other side, if you feel stuck in the same way – well, you know it’s time to have a nice coffee with Ms. RealityCheck and then get your hands dirty!

Coffee with a Friend by Damiano Tescaro on 500px.com
I like to invite friends for coffe to “talk about life”
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